It’s my anniversary of sorts…. One year ago right about now I was in an emergency room in New Mexico, and they were not going to let me go home. I was bleeding internally and had discovered that I had severely messed up my entire digestive system from years and years of bad habits, from an organic defect in my stomach… and from working in a high-stress work environment (and all the travel for work).
When I finally convinced them to let me go home after a very very painful and horrific preventative medical procedure in the ER…. I swore that when I got home something would change….and that I would NEVER be in that situation again.
Medical interventions fixed the parts of me that were physically damaged, but the MOST important change I made was the change I made in my THINKING. I LEARNED healthy habits. I committed to myself that I wanted to live a long life and be a healthier person, whatever that took.
I picked up the phone and I called my friend, whom I had not listened to fully before. I didn’t believe it would work for me, but she believed for me. I didn’t believe anything would work, but I knew that if I could at least lose a little bit of weight that it would be something…. and more than that I knew that if I could learn how to make better choices…I’d eventually get healthier even if I didn’t believe I could lose the weight.
She believed for me. I didn’t fully believe in myself until I hit January 1 and had lost the first 100 lbs. It was then that I finally realized that I was getting somewhere, and more than that I realized that my life had changed forever. It wasn’t medical intervention that changed me, it was what I had learned….and the system I was supporting my health with. No surgery or medical intervention can fix a messed up thought process…. it can’t save me from my own unhealthy choices…. but….. education can. Learning HEALTHY HABITS…..THAT is what changed my life….and why I know I will never, ever be that girl again.
For the first time in my entire, 39 1/2 years of life…. I feel hopeful, truly and fully hopeful. It’s not the weight…it’s the HEALTHY mind…the ENERGY I get from making healthy choices on a daily basis…. and the knowing that I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to get on the right path…. AND that I have a coach to walk with me and help me when I need a GPS ….to “recalculate” my direction…
I’m not perfect, nobody is. Fortunately though I know better now… and I feel so blessed when people reach out to me like I did to my friend…. and even moreso to watch my dear friends joining me on this journey….with ME as their GPS.
One year later, I found my purpose. I am forever grateful to all who made it possible for me to find it. Without all of them (The Bronsons, The Millers, The Castros, The Woods, The Andersons….etc – and yes, even Stanford University Medical Center who fixed my physical body from the damage I had undergone…) I am not sure I would be here today. Of course I also thank my amazingly wonderful husband who has stood beside me this entire time…. and has pushed me to make the hard decisions when it counted… he is my rock…my heart…my soul….. (and of course thanks Mom for always being there to listen….as you always have been!)
Without all of them….I know I would still be in constant pain. I know I’d still be hopeless in thought. I know I’d still be incredibly unhappy.
Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for giving my son the mom he deserves. Thank you for giving my husband the wife HE deserves.
Happy Anniversary to me, I am so happy to be alive.